I have the same problem and still at it today (recharging my battery). I have done what you have, did you check you were getting 12V on your glowplug bus wire, this will show whether the relay is switching or not, i.e. 12V on turn on and your relay is working. The other thing I have been thinking about is whether the fuel shut off solenoid is jamming intermittently which would starve fuel to the injection pump.
Also are your fuel filters ok, need replacing?
The black smoke could be your air filter being old and semi bunged up as this would cause oxygen starvation to the engine and hence over riich fuel when it finally starts causing the black smoke. Blue smoke is always more sinister as the engine could be on its way out.
I am going to have another go later when my battery is charged and will let you know if I find anything else.
Regards
Andrew
Andrew, September 2008