James, have you considered that you might have a flat battery and that the battery is so old and tired that even after a jump start any charge you put in is soon lost.
New batteries can cost between £50 and £120.
Needing a jump start and no lights are good indications of a flat battery. Checking fuses is not going to fix your problem.
Winter is coming on - get a new battery soon.
Peccavi, October 2008