As entering a minor profanity which runs in the veins I re-phrase.
Other than getting an expensive divorce how can i

(a) get 'er in doors ' the wife, to use the cooker hood every time she cooks. (b) Degrease the tops of the wall cupboards.
Don't tell me to get her to do it, hell will freeze over first.
I've just spent several.......... hours degreasing the cupboard tops using a scraper and wire wool as the products that claim to cut through grease are useless. There, no minor profanities you can post this now, thank you.

Bob, November 2010

Face facts Bob. If she won't listen, then she won't listen. Take it like a man and accept your fate with grace and humility.
You could also cover the cupboard tops with greaseproof paper that you replace as and when necessary.

Big Softy, November 2010